Reflecting on This Project

I learned a great deal during this project. I didn't expect for there to be as much information out there, in the written world as there was. I learned that like many people, children of addicts blame themselves for things that they cannot control. I learned that many problems that form in their lives aren't caused by how others see them, but by how they see themselves.

The research overall went really well. I found more than I thought I would, and answered questions I didn't even ask. I found it hard to ask survey question to my peers, that would be specific enough for my project, but broad enough to be honestly answered. I think that what I chose turned out fairly well though. If I was going to do this project over again, I think I would have narrowed my research questions down to either only being about children of alcoholics, or drug addicts.

This project showed me many things not just about my topic, but also about the world around me. I learned that everyone has things that they have to over come in life. I learned that you can't just assume you know someone, because sometimes the things that make the biggest differences, are the things no one wants to talk about. Growing up is about finding yourself, and learning about life, what you overcome will make you stronger, but we are never really done learning.

Things that could change, and things that are surprisingly okay.

There are many help centers for many people throughout the U.S. for many different problems. You might think that their would be more help for children of addicts, but then you would be wrong. Most of the help centers concerning alcohol and drugs are for alcoholics and drug addicts themselves. There are not nearly as many help centers for children of addicts as there are centers for addicts themselves. This would be something that could use improvement. Though I was impressed with the Alanon and Alateen programs.

In most social environments the subject of having parents addicted to drugs and alcohol is not very open. Most people do not understand what it is like to be in this situation and think that since the parents are addicts, this must mean that they are bad people. This is most certainly not the case, and children can be sensitive about others making quick judgments of their parents, because in some ways, we all are a part of our parents. One of my resources touched on this and the evidence of children of addicts wanting to be distanced from others, supports this strongly.

Wanting what you can't yet have.

During this project I have gathered much information and learned many things about my topic, but I still don't really know the whole story. One of the questions I would further research would be one of my original research questions that was left unanswered. This question was "How do people live with their addicted parents?". I found out many things about how it affected the children, but not really why they put up with it. I suppose this would be a hard question to answer because every person would have a different answer. It still is something I would want to further research though.

There were many subjects that I studied about living with addicts that I really only got to see the tip of the iceberg. Really the main thing that needs further research is the exact signs that people radiate when they are a child of addiction. This is something that would be a key addition to this blog. It would also be intriguing to have more information on why children of addicts act this way and actually show these signs. This may also be hard to research because while people in similar situations may have similar options, they still are different people.

If another survey would be held I would have to ask very different questions. I don't think I would ask directly if your parents are addicted to drugs or alcohol, because many people would not want to answer truly, or simply just wouldn't know. What child really can draw the line between healthy drinking and alcoholism? I would probably ask "What do you think are the chances of a child of an alcoholic, or a parent addicted to drugs, becoming addicted themselves as they grow up?". Many of the questions I would most want to ask, I would want to ask actual children of addicts, and maybe even a few questions to the addicts themselves.

Another thing that I would want to do would be survey the same two questions I originally used, but from different backgrounds. I would want to survey older people, in their twenties, to see if age has opened their eyes more to the world around them. I would also want to survey people in higher and lower economic statues to see if that made a big difference. Really if I could have my way I would survey everyone!

Pulling it All Together

In the research data that was gathered, both survey and source, many of the original questions that were asked, were answered.

In the survey it was found that over 80% of the students thought that they may, or definitely do know someone who has a parent who is an alcoholic or addicted to drugs. It also was found that over 95% of the students definitely, or figured that a parents addiction would affect the child. This figures into the fact that alcohol and drug abuse, dependency affect 27% of the U.S. population, and that somewhere between 28 million and 34 million Americans have an alcoholic parent and at least 6 million are children who are still living with them. The research data matches the survey data pretty closely in people at least knowing that addiction affects other people in their lives.

Many of the research questions were answered in detail, like the question "How does living with addicted parents affect your personality now and later?". In the research data it was found that children of alcoholics are affected at a young age and they begin to believe that their parents addiction is their fault, and may even carry that with them through their life. The question "Are there signs that a person shows from living in a household with addicted parents?" was also answered. Obviously from the survey data, if their are not signs 95% of the surveyed would not think they know someone with an alcoholic parent. It was also said in the research data that families with addictions may wall themselves off from the rest of the world, and appear to be lying about what's really going on in their household. The most important question was "How will this affect the relationship between parent and child?".`The parents addiction will strain the relationship. This is seen clearly in the research data. A child may still love their parent very much, but much that they were but through as a child will haunt them, and their relationship as they grow up.

Survey Do you think children of parents who abuse drugs and alcohol are affected by their parents' addiction?

In this survey 99 people were surveyed, and 63.64% of the responses were female, and 36.36% were male. The ethnic groups that made up this survey were as follows: 35.35% Black, 49.49% White, 2.02% Asian, 1.01% Latino, 7.07% mixed, and 5.05% other. People who took this survey ranged from 14 to 16.

In a survey of 99 people people answered as follows to the following question:

Do you think children of parents who abuse drugs and alcohol are affected by their parents' addiction?

31.31% Yes it affects every aspect of their lives.
29.29% Yes, it affects many parts of their social life.
10.10% Probably, but they wouldn't let anyone see it.
14.14% Maybe, but only a close friend would notice.
4.04% No

Survey Do you know someone who has an alcoholic parent or a parent addicted to drugs?

In this survey 99 people were surveyed, and 63.64% of the responses were female, and 36.36% were male. The ethnic groups that made up this survey were as follows: 35.35% Black, 49.49% White, 2.02% Asian, 1.01% Latino, 7.07% mixed, and 5.05% other. People who took this survey ranged from 14 to 16.

In a survey of 99 people people answered as follows to the following question:

Do you know someone who has an alcoholic parent or a parent addicted to drugs?

10.10% Yes, definitely. I see this all the time.
42.42% Yes but people don't talk about it that often.
12.12% Probably-but it does not affect me.
16.16% Maybe but I'm not 100% sure
19.19% No, I don't know anyone in that situation.

Research Research and More Research (Addiction to Drugs and Alcohol)

The second part of my post is on both addictions I'm covering.

Alcohol and drug abuse, dependency affect 27% of the U.S. population. Alcoholism and drug addiction are both referred to as diseases. This is because of the affect addiction has on the entire body, and the addicted person's inability to stop using the substance. Drugs are usually highly addictive, but alcohol is addictive based on the persons body. Because of this mental illnesses and alcoholism go and in hand. Many families with alcoholism believe that mental illness proceeds addictions. This does not mean that all addicts are mentally ill though. It is understandable that most addicts would rather be called "junkies" than "crazy".

Addiction makes family life very hard. Families with addictions tend to wall themselves off from the rest of the world and present a very false front.

Secunda, Victoria. When Madness Comes Home: Help and Hope for Families of the Mentally Ill. New York: Hyperion, 1998. Print.

Research Research and More Research (Alcohol)

For this post I hit the books. This post is all on what the "experts" think about children growing up with addicts.

Lets start off with children of alcoholics.

Between 28 million and 34 million Americans have an alcoholic parent. At least 6 million children are living with an alcoholic parent in the states. Knowing this you would not be surprised that there are more than 4,000 support groups for children of alcoholics in America.

Many children of alcoholics are affected by alcoholism years after they have moved away from their families. Much of this is because children are affected by their addicted parents at a young age. From when they first discover their parents addiction, and sometimes even into their late adulthood, they believe that their parents addiction is their fault. Children of alcoholics develop three basic rules for surviving. They are as follows: Don't feel, don't trust, and don't talk about your parents alcohol problems. This rough childhood can lead to harmful emotional traits when they enter adulthood. These traits include: difficulty with intimacy, anxiety when changes occur that they cannot control, and extreme loyalty towards people that may not deserve it. Many of their problems come from one belief, no matter how well they do their jobs work, or other interests, they will never be able to get the respect from the ones that they longingly need.

Hyde, Margaret . Alcohol: Uses and Abuses . New York: Enslow, 1988. Print.

Exactly What is My Question?

During this project I will be researching many questions that fall under the topic of growing up in a household with parents addicted to drugs and alcohol. My main questions are as follows: How do people live with their addicted parents? How does living with addicted parents affect your personality now and later? Are there signs that a person shows from living in a household with addicted parents? And lasty, how will this affect the relationship between parent and child?

Introduction

Have you ever wondered about the women wrapped in a wool jacket sleeping next to you on the subway, in the middle of July? Maybe the kid buying gum at the drugstore with a hand full of pennies. What were their lives like as a child, or what are their lives like now, when they go home. But have you ever thought about this...What is your lunch buddy, your chem partner, your gym pal, and even your best friend's life like, when they go home? Maybe you don't see them with broken bones, and bruises, maybe they've never been abused in the normal sense of the word, but what if there is something you don't know about them. What if they have parents that are addicted to drugs or alcohol, and they never told you? That is what this blog is about. The unspoken "What ifs" of life.

I know little about this topic other than what I've seen in the lives of those around me, which is the reason why I'm so interested in this topic. This project will be about something that we've all seen a piece of, and know exist, but don't really think about because it's not as threatening as other personal issues. I hope to take away from this knowledge of how and why people just put up with living in homes with addicted parents, and how living in these conditions affect their personality.